Monday, April 4, 2011

Bad Brain Day

Can I write a blog entry during halftime of the college basketball championship game? Perhaps, but its not going to be much. It is already late. Like many people, I don't know why this game is being played so late at night, although they are in Houston, so I guess they are an hour earlier. Maybe they scheduled it so that they could hit all time zones between dinner and bedtime?

I have had a difficult day. I have a cold, or something, I think. Or are the body aches coming back? Well, there is no sense in worrying about it. Things come and things go, and I've adapted to the lack of rhythm of it all. Who knows? Maybe its this sudden warm weather. If I pace myself, things should be alright.

Mentally, however, I'm on edge. I can feel my brain being sucked into the hole. What causes this? It is like some kind of switch gets flipped in my nervous system. Whatever it may be, I am fighting it. My medication is helping me to fight it. A good priest is helping me. My therapist is helping me. You need mental exercises to strengthen the brain that is afflicted by neurological disorders. You need to nourish, to strengthen, to restore balance. Drugs are not magic. Mental health, like all health, requires work. This is the kind of work that a good therapist does with you, and teaches you to do. It is like having a personal trainer for your brain.

I need the help of a therapist and I am not ashamed of it. No one should be ashamed if they need this kind of help. If you feel you need this kind of help, don't be afraid and don't be ashamed. Get help.

I am learning to manage this. There is a lot of "two steps forward, one step back," but it is progress. Please pray for me.

Go Bulldogs!