Tuesday, July 27, 2021

We Want Our Lives "to Matter." Do They, Really?

These days of "sorrow and joy" seem to overcome my ability to say anything meaningful about them. Within the past month, my mother has died and my granddaughter has been born. Her baptism last weekend had a sense of "closing the circle" of generational transition.

I have had very little to say lately in this blog (though I have some good pictures).

Perhaps it's just as well. There are too many words out there, "too much information," and it begins to sound like noise. I cannot analyze all that I feel right now, nor can I distract myself from the real experiences of these weeks. The "noise" in me and around me remains, but it's not loud enough to drown out the knowledge that has impressed itself upon me of the weakness and fragility of life, and at the same time its wonder, its beauty and goodness, and the responsibility it entails: its summons to our freedom.

Nothing really important in life "goes smoothly." It's always different from what we expected. It's messier, less coherent, more disproportionate to the energies of our small hearts. Its challenge to our generosity may indeed help us to grow in the courage of self-giving love, but it will also lay bare our selfishness, narrowness, indolence, resistence to change, and our meager resources of personal character that are so quickly exhausted in the face of the need to persevere, day after day, all the way to the end.

Earthly life might seem to be an anxious, ultimately insignificant ordeal: with all its grueling work, complicated relationships, changes, twists and turns, limitations, its birth and helplessness, growth and ambitions, vanities and empty attainments, shortness and rapid passage, and its sudden decline that ends in the silence and immobility of death.

Yet we continue to hope for ultimate meaning and happiness. Even with all our poverty, constraints, unworthiness, and exhaustion, we still seek a fullness of life. We ask for it. We beg for it. It's as if we have always heard a whisper in the depths of our hearts, a promise that the fulfillment of life is a gift (just as life itself is a gift); a promise that our earthly life is a journey, full of signs destined to be fulfilled, and that this journey is a mysterious preparation to receive this fulfillment.

And so we are called to live as people who are being led by the Mystery that has set the great hope of our hearts in motion and that continues to call us. In the face of disappointments and failure, we get up again and keep going, or even just cry out to be carried through overwhelming obstacles. Even when we stray from the path or betray it in malice, still the promise beckons us to return and be forgiven.

It is possible to freeze ourselves in a state of resentment or rebellion, but we can only have dissatisfaction and disappointment because our hearts began with expectation. We can only "give up" because first we were seeking something.

Why do we embark on the journey of life each day, hoping for something good, something better, something more? Who "told us" to expect anything out of life? Yet this expectation and seeking and longing are the deepest realities of our heart. We want meaning and fulfillment - we want our lives to matter - and even when we are lost, when the way seems impossible, there is a promise that speaks softly within the very foundation of our heart: "Don't give up. There is a way and you are being led along it. You are not alone or forgotten. If you are 'lost,' let yourself be found."

Monday, July 26, 2021

Joachim and Anne: "Grandparents of God"

The story of Saints Joachim and Anne is not recorded in Scripture but has an ancient and venerable history from the earliest days of Christianity. It is related in a format similar to the Old Testament accounts of miraculous conceptions and births: Anne is "barren" (this devout married couple were unable to have children), but both husband and wife prayed for a child, and God made fruitful their conjugal union and blessed them with a child who would play a crucial role in the history of salvation.

But as we know from our faith, there is so much more to this event than any comparable stories about the births of patriarchs and prophets. The child conceived in Saint Anne's womb is destined to be the mother of the Savior, the all-holy and immaculate Mother of God. Thus, these persons - Mary's parents - are precious, and their story is held in great esteem (even though its primary source that we know of is an Apocryphal Gospel). It was in the context of their conjugal self-giving love that God began His definitive "entrance" into history, not only by making the couple fruitful, but also by preserving their child Mary from original sin from the first moment of her conception. 

Mary's conception was "the beginning" of something radically new. Perhaps we might say it was in some sense the "beginning" of the New Creation. Mary was the Woman who was prepared entirely to receive - with complete and personal freedom - the incarnate Word, and accompany Him throughout His life, His ministry, His crucifixion and resurrection (the redeeming effects of which applied to her "in advance" - according to the way time unfolds for creatures in this present age), His Ascension, the Gift of the Spirit and the birth of the Church at Pentecost, and her own "Dormition"/Assumption into the fullness of her Son's bodily resurrected life. It is not surprising, therefore, that from the beginning of Christian history attention was given to human historical moment in which God created the All-Holy Ever-Virgin Mary, Mother of God. 

Mary's parents were clearly prepared by extraordinary graces to become - really, truly - her father and mother. Theirs were the first human faces that looked upon and loved the woman chosen to be the Theotokos. How awesome it must have been to be entrusted with so singular a gift (even if they were not yet aware of her unique vocation). Was there perhaps an inkling in their hearts, even when they held their little Mary as a baby? Such a special joy would be appropriate for Joachim and Anne, just as some echo of this joy is experienced in the sense of wonder that fills the hearts of every mother and father when they gaze upon the new human person that has been entrusted to their love and care.

 There is no tradition (that I'm aware of) of referring to these saints as the "Grandfather and Grandmother of God," nor what theological relevance that would have for us. But the Person who was their grandson was God, the only-begotten Son of the Father. I'm not certain they lived to see his birth. Scripture is entirely silent on any of these details. No matter what, however, their lives were greatly blessed, and the purity of their hearts was abundantly rewarded.

Saint John Damascene (8th century) has some helpful reflections for today's feast day in honor of Saints Joachim and Anne, from a sermon which is presented in part in today's Liturgy of the Hours, in the "Office of Readings":

"Anne was to be the mother of the Virgin Mother of God, and hence nature did not dare to anticipate the flowering of grace. Thus nature remained sterile, until grace produced its fruit. For she who was to be born had to be a first born daughter, since she would be the mother of the first-born of all creation, in whom all things are held together.

"Joachim and Anne, how blessed a couple! All creation is indebted to you. For at your hands the Creator was offered a gift excelling all other gifts: a chaste mother, who alone was worthy of him. 

"And so rejoice, Anne, that you were sterile and have not borne children; break forth into shouts, you who have not given birth. Rejoice, Joachim, because from your daughter a child is born for us, a son is given us, whose name is Messenger of great counsel and universal salvation, mighty God. For this child is God.

"Joachim and Anne, how blessed and spotless a couple! You will be known by the fruit you have borne, as the Lord says: By their fruits you will know them. The conduct of your life pleased God and was worthy of your daughter. For by the chaste and holy life you led together, you have fashioned a jewel of virginity: she who remained a virgin before, during and after giving birth. She alone for all time would maintain her virginity in mind and soul as well as in body.

"Joachim and Anne, how chaste a couple! While safeguarding the chastity prescribed by the law of nature, you achieved with God’s help something which transcends nature in giving the world the Virgin Mother of God as your daughter. While leading a devout and holy life in your human nature, you gave birth to a daughter nobler than the angels, whose queen she now is. 

"Girl of utter beauty and delight, daughter of Adam and mother of God, blessed the loins and blessed the womb from which you come! Blessed the arms that carried you, and blessed your parents’ lips, which you were allowed to cover with chaste kisses, ever maintaining your virginity. Rejoice in God, all the earth. Sing, exult and sing hymns. Raise your voice, raise it and do not be afraid."



Saturday, July 24, 2021

Baptism of Maria Therese

Maria Therese Janaro, baptized into Christ’s body.  July 24, 2021.

It is very beautiful how Jesus "touches" our lives through the sacraments from beginning to end. A few weeks ago we were at my mother's bedside while the priest anointed her and we prayed in the hope of the resurrection. Now my mother has gone to be with the Lord, and her great-granddaughter has received new life through baptism. Jesus is always with us, every step of the way - and one day we will see that clearly, and we will understand, and he will wipe away all our tears.

For our family, these days have been full of the mysterious closeness and tenderness of God's Fatherly love. As for me, I am not afraid, even if I have tears sometimes. These moments of life I am going through now fill me with awe.






Friday, July 23, 2021

The "Feast" of Saint Mary Magdalene

On July 22 we observed the recently "upgraded" celebration of Saint Mary Magdalene (from a memorial to a proper Feast Day, with the Gloria and proper readings and preface).

In the Preface to the Eucharistic Prayer, the text expresses that the Lord Jesus "appeared in the garden and revealed himself to Mary Magdalene, who had loved him in life, witnessed him dying on the Cross, sought him as he lay in the tomb, and was the first to adore him, newly risen from the dead. He honored her with the office of being an apostle to the Apostles, so that the good news of new life might reach the ends of the earth."

The digital graphics below present the Collect for the Feast Day, and one of the antiphons from the Liturgy of the Hours which represents the "voice" of Mary Magdalene arriving at the tomb on that first Easter morning:


Monday, July 19, 2021

Trust in the Hidden Wisdom of God

Life is full of suffering, in more ways than we know. So many people are hurt, afraid, angry, offended, insecure, confused, grief-stricken, and full of questions that will never be answered in this world. 

Saint Edith Stein encourages us to trust in the hidden wisdom of God.



Saturday, July 17, 2021

The New "Papa" and His Granddaughter

Here's "Papa" snuggling his little baby granddaughter Maria a week after her birth. She is even cuter than I expected her to be. She's certainly keeping her parents busy.

She has a sweet little voice, I think, but of course whenever she cries, her parents spring into concerned action. Ah, the first baby is such a wild crazy roller coaster ride. Mommy and Daddy are doing great ... exhausted, of course, but they have the rapidly renewed energy of their own youth, as well as plenty of helping hands nearby. 

At this point, however, grandfathers don't serve much "practical" purpose. Mostly, they just marvel at these new lives that are beginning their journey in this world. Grandfathers are full of tenderness and amazement.

What a mysterious and awesome thing it is to be human! What a gift it is to belong to the human family, to be entrusted to one another across the generations. 

Friday, July 16, 2021

Carmel: The Protection and Shelter of Mary's Mantle

Today's feast is dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary in her role as the special patroness of the Carmelite Order in all its various branches, as well as countless others associated with her through the Confraternity of the Brown Scapular. These latter people (myself included) wear a chord necklace with front-and-back brown cloth pieces that represent the brown mantle worn as part of the Carmelite's monastic garments since the Middle Ages.

Today's meditation in Magnificat was a selection from the letters of the 20th century Spanish Carmelite Saint Maria Maravillas of Jesus. Like all the great Carmelites, Mother Maria's expressiveness of intimacy and confidence in Jesus and His Mother is matched by her remarkable life of courage in the midst of great adversity (including the persecution of the Spanish Civil War), her apostolic ardor, and her heroic endurance of much suffering during her final illness of over a decade. She died in 1974 and was canonized in 2003.

If Saint Maria Maravillas learned, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, to look at reality in this way every day, then there is hope that you and I might also grow in trust, simplicity, and perseverence: "I am no longer bothered at seeing myself as I am…[though] for my God I would love to be, and would love to have been, other than what I am. I see, however, that I don't achieve anything despite the length of my life. I decided long ago to entrust it all to Him and ask Him to prepare me - since I don't know how - for our encounter. 

"I have taken our Blessed Mother as my Mother in a very special way, and she is the one who is also responsible for preparing, protecting, and sheltering me. This sweet Mother is so good! Sweet Mother of Carmel, If I die loving you, how quickly I will reach heaven! How sweet death will be!"

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Buried in the Hope of the Resurrection

Today we brought our mother's body to its place of rest.

She was buried at Sacred Heart Cemetery in Winchester, Virginia, next to the body of our father (and her husband for 59 years). We entrust them to the One who said, "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live..." (John 11:25).



Sunday, July 11, 2021

Welcome, Little Girl!

And here SHE IS! ☺️❤ Maria Therese Janaro, born on Friday evening, came home today. Maria, we are so happy to meet you.❗⭐

Congratulations to Emily and John Paul Janaro.🙂 

Thanks be to God, and Hooray for #GranddaughterNumberOne



Wednesday, July 7, 2021

Parents and Children

The days are full of memories, as well as present events and promises for the future. Dad and Mom (“Papa and Grandma”) spent nearly all of their adult lives together, and now we prepare to entrust them both to the glory of God’s everlasting love.

Here are a few pictures from over the years. Dear beloved parents: we will always be grateful to you for who we are, who our son and daughters (a.k.a. Walter’s “nephew and nieces”) are becoming, and all they will give in turn to their children.

So much is happening, almost simultaneously, it seems. We move "from generation to generation" and it changes us. A new generation is beginning, which makes me want to honor all the more these precious people - my late parents and all our elders - without whom none of us would be here. They have educated us as persons, guided our freedom, contributed to the history of goodness in this world, and empowered us to be creative and - in turn - open new possibilities for those who are entrusted to us. 

Rest In Peace, Dad (+2019) and Mom (+2021). God bless our elders, those who have passed on and those who remain in this world. They deserve to be cherished, honored, and loved!

Thank you. We love you!❤❤

Sunday, July 4, 2021

Mom Goes Home to God

Our beloved mother, Joan Janaro, passed away peacefully on Saturday evening after a brief illness. She was 82 years old. My brother Walter and I were with her on Saturday, along with Eileen and two of the grandchildren. Father Donald Planty joined us, administered the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick and led us in the prayers for the dying. Now, we pray that the Lord will grant her eternal rest in His infinite mercy and love, and reward her for her long and faithful life of service to Him.✝️

I will write about Mom at greater length when I am able to do so. She was an extraordinary human being. I don't think I can ever adequately express in words my own love for her and gratitude to her, but I will do my best to say something soon.

We will all miss her very much.

"Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we also await a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. He will change our lowly body to conform with his glorified body by the power that enables him also to bring all things into subjection to himself" (Philippians 3:20-21).

Thursday, July 1, 2021

Saint Junipero Serra: "A Church Which Goes Forth"

July 1 commemorates Saint Junipero Serra, who founded Misión San Diego on this date in 1769. Pope Francis offered these reflections on Serra's passion for bringing the good news of Jesus Christ to many indigenous peoples of Mexico and California:


"Jesus said: Go out and tell the good news to everyone. Go out and in my name embrace life as it is, and not as you think it should be. Go out to the highways and byways, go out to tell the good news fearlessly, without prejudice, without superiority, without condescension, to all those who have lost the joy of living. Go out to proclaim the merciful embrace of the Father. Go out to those who are burdened by pain and failure, who feel that their lives are empty, and proclaim the folly of a loving Father who wants to anoint them with the oil of hope, the oil of salvation. Go out to proclaim the good news that error, deceitful illusions and falsehoods do not have the last word in a person’s life. Go out with the ointment which soothes wounds and heals hearts.

"Mission is never the fruit of a perfectly planned program or a well-organized manual. Mission is always the fruit of a life which knows what it is to be found and healed, encountered and forgiven. Mission is born of a constant experience of God’s merciful anointing.

"The Church, the holy People of God, treads the dust-laden paths of history, so often traversed by conflict, injustice and violence, in order to encounter her children, our brothers and sisters. The holy and faithful People of God are not afraid of losing their way; they are afraid of becoming self-enclosed, frozen into élites, clinging to their own security. They know that self-enclosure, in all the many forms it takes, is the cause of so much apathy.

"So let us go out, let us go forth to offer everyone the life of Jesus Christ (Evangelii Gaudium, 49). The People of God can embrace everyone because we are the disciples of the One who knelt before his own to wash their feet (ibid., 24).

"We are here today, we can be here today, because many people wanted to respond to that call. They believed that 'life grows by being given away, and it weakens in isolation and comfort' (Aparecida Document, 360). We are heirs to the bold missionary spirit of so many men and women who preferred not to be 'shut up within structures which give us a false sense of security… within habits which make us feel safe, while at our door people are starving' (Evangelii Gaudium, 49). We are indebted to a tradition, a chain of witnesses who have made it possible for the good news of the Gospel to be, in every generation, both 'good' and 'news'.

"Today we remember one of those witnesses who testified to the joy of the Gospel in these lands, Father Junípero Serra. He was the embodiment of 'a Church which goes forth', a Church which sets out to bring everywhere the reconciling tenderness of God. Junípero Serra left his native land and its way of life. He was excited about blazing trails, going forth to meet many people, learning and valuing their particular customs and ways of life. He learned how to bring to birth and nurture God’s life in the faces of everyone he met; he made them his brothers and sisters. Junípero sought to defend the dignity of the native community, to protect it from those who had mistreated and abused it. Mistreatment and wrongs which today still trouble us, especially because of the hurt which they cause in the lives of many people.

"Father Serra had a motto which inspired his life and work, not just a saying, but above all a reality which shaped the way he lived: siempre adelante! 'Keep moving forward!' For him, this was the way to continue experiencing the joy of the Gospel, to keep his heart from growing numb, from being anesthetized. He kept moving forward, because the Lord was waiting. He kept going, because his brothers and sisters were waiting. He kept going forward to the end of his life. Today, like him, may we be able to say: Forward! Let’s keep moving forward!"

Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Summer Flowers

We end the month of June as we began it, with flowers. We don't have many wild flowers around anymore, but there are some lovely garden flowers visible from the road while walking, or blooming in public parks.

Spring this year was pleasant overall, but the sun has now been high in the sky for weeks and the heat of July is upon us.







Tuesday, June 29, 2021

Peter and Paul, the Church, and Evangelization

Happy Solemnity of Saints Peter and PaulHappy feast day especially to the whole church in Rome, and in particular to the Bishop of Rome — who is entrusted with the Apostolic See, the "Sede" ("chair," representing the episcopal office) of Saint Peter and his successors to this day. The "primacy" of Peter's successor is a reference point for the unity all those who follow Christ in the Church in every time and place. It is a primacy of service and solicitude, as Jesus indicated to Peter when He said, "Feed my sheep." 

Also, Rome was the great cosmopolitan center of the ancient world, inhabited and visited by many peoples and known throughout the earth. In Rome, Saint Paul's ministry was thus extended, symbolically, to all the Gentiles, to all peoples. Peter and Paul are signs of the unity and universality of Christ's Church. Their being co-patrons of the Church of Rome indicates that  from the beginning  Jesus Christ is given to the whole world, and to every human being. Saint Paul remains the first evangelizer of the nations, commissioned by Jesus Himself. And Saint Peter  named "the Rock" by Jesus  continues through his successors to fulfill to Lord's special call to “confirm the brethren” in the faith. After 2000 years  and in spite of attacks by enemies, the destructive consequences of tragic misunderstandings, and the shocking criminal behavior of so many of the Church's own members  the "Rock" remains the foundation of an unparalleled "edifice" that endures and grows in history. 

The "gates of hell," the "jaws of death" have not prevailed against the Church, the communion of persons in Christ who strive to follow Him and radiate His love in the world, the "flock" that Jesus continues to shepherd by the gift of the Holy Spirit and the leadership of Peter's successors: the bishops of Rome who with filial affection we call "Popes" (from the term "papa," father). We love the Pope, we follow him, and we pray for him. We know well that he is a frail human being like us. In the life of the Church, we are entitled to express our opinions and concerns in a constructive manner. But ultimately we trust in God's ways; we must remain in the vital unity of the Church wherein the truth abides; we must remember — notwithstanding whatever personal weaknesses we may think we see in any particular Pope — that every Pope is called and empowered to act as "the servant of the servants of God."

We trust in the path God has given us, because God is good, and He loves us. The mystery of God's Infinite Love is the secret directing impetus that moves the world, that cares for the heart of every human person, and that illuminates the lives of His People, the Church. God has proven His love for us — for everyone — by sending His Son Jesus to save us from our sins, to redeem us and transform us in His likeness.

Like Saints Peter and Paul, we too are members of the Church established by the loving Heart of Jesus. The love of this man — this man who alone "knows the Father," who is God the Son, the Word made flesh — this man Jesus Christ, the Son of Mary, who lived in first century Palestine, who was crucified and died and conquered death forever in His resurrection: this man Jesus Christ touched the lives of Peter and Paul, changed them completely, and lit a fire in their hearts that burned so brightly that they couldn't contain it within themselves. They had to share it with everyone. God's love "compelled" them — awakening all the depths of their freedom and liberating them through joy — to be witnesses of Jesus to the whole world.

The same fire burns in the heart of every Christian, even though it is often faint, ill-tended, hidden away in an obscure corner.

We must not extinguish this fire. We must let the breath of the Holy Spirit revive it so that it bursts into a great flame.

Monday, June 28, 2021

Saint Irenaeus and the Reality of Jesus Christ

Today we honor Saint Irenaeus, bishop of Lyons (140 - 202 a.d.), the great witness to Christ in the Church of the late Second Century. Here I reproduce a selection from my book published in 2003 (which is still in print - click HERE for more information). It outlines the pioneering importance of Irenaeus as an ecclesial theologian. (My book is entitled The Created Person and the Mystery of God.) The text reproduced below is taken from pp. 204-206:

Because Christianity is an adherence to a man in history — to the things he said and did and to the society he constituted — it was crucial from the very beginning to receive and preserve the authentic testimony of those He sent forth to bear witness to His name. Thus the measure of genuine Christian thinking and the anecdote to every poisonous distortion of the Christian message could only be fidelity to the apostolic tradition. It was this fidelity that both guided and rendered fruitful the great work of Saint Irenaeus at the end of the second century. 

Irenaeus was born in Asia Minor around 140 a.d. In his youth, he was a disciple of Saint Polycarp of Smyrna, who in turn had been a follower of Saint John the Apostle. Thus he had a vital, personal link to the "handing on" of the truth about Jesus Christ from those who knew Him and were commissioned to be His witnesses. 

Irenaeus travelled to Rome and to Southern Gaul and eventually became bishop in the city of Lyons. In Rome he first encountered the strange phenomenon of "Christian Gnosticism," and he battled against it throughout most of his episcopal ministry in Lyons. Many Christians in Rome in the middle of the second century had become captivated by the theories of a charismatic preacher named Valentinus. After an unsuccessful attempt to get himself elected pope in 140, Valentinus broke openly from the Church and began to develop his own Christian gnostic sect. The general tendencies of the gnostic movement — its stress on esoteric and secret wisdom, its radical dualism between spirit and matter, and its hierarchy of divinities — resulted in a very peculiar interpretation of biblical revelation and the life of Jesus Christ. 

For Valentinus and his disciples, the God of the Old Testament is not the Ultimate Divine being, but an inferior and rebellious deity who created the material world for his own evil purposes. Another more powerful deity called “Christ" was sent from the pleroma (the "society" of divine beings) to teach the truth and offer deliverance to lesser spirits who were trapped in this material prison. He inhabited the man Jesus — he certainly did not become incarnate — and by this means he taught secret doctrines to his initiates (the apostles). Needless to say, the Christ-deity (being no fool) abandoned the man Jesus before the messiness of the Passion got started. 

Behind the crassness and silliness of this highly imaginative distortion of Christianity we can recognize a perennial heretical principle: the denial of the historical drama of the redemption in favor of some purely theoretical or interpretive scheme that supposedly reveals to us the "real" significance of Christ and Christianity. Irenaeus wrote his masterpiece — his treatise Against the Heresies — to combat Valentinianism and other gnosticisms that made their way up the Italian peninsula into Gaul. Throughout this great work, he contrasts the "secret knowledge" of the gnostics with the tradition handed down from the Apostles and preserved in the Church. 

Irenaeus stresses the consistency and reliability of this tradition, linked as it is to the real Jesus Christ of history. At the same time he meditates more deeply on the unity of the Divine plan and the centrality of Christ’s redeeming action. It is one God who creates all things visible and invisible and who recreates them in Christ. The world that is created through the agency of the Divine Word is recapitulated — brought again "under the headship" — of the Word made flesh, who, by coming into the world, embraces history and consecrates it to God. 

Thus Irenaeus gave eloquent testimony to a theme that was original to Christianity: the unity and purpose of history centered on the Incarnate Word.

Here is a brief quotation from Saint Irenaeus himself:

"We have learned from none others the plan of our salvation, than from those through whom the Gospel has come down to us, which they did at one time proclaim in public, and, at a later period, by the will of God, handed down to us in the Scriptures, to be the ground and pillar of our faith." The witness of the apostolic tradition attests to "the only true and steadfast Teacher, the Word of God, our Lord Jesus Christ, who did, through His transcendent love, become what we are, that He might bring us to be even what He is Himself."

~Saint Irenaeus

Friday, June 25, 2021

“Mahwidge is What Bwings Us Together...”

Okay, the "Princess-Bride-reference" is the closest I will go in terms of "clickbait"(😉). 

As you all know, Eileen and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this week. Of course, we have been (and will be) stretching out our Silver Jubilee all through this memorable year. It has been a special time for us, with a renewed awareness of the preciousness of our life together and all we have shared, as well as a renewed commitment to what lies ahead. We are moving forward with hope to the joys, trials, twists and turns, new challenges, surprises, failures, achievements, and growing in love that remain ahead of us as we continue together our journey through this world, following our common vocation.

Marriage is indeed what "brings us together" - it is the unique lifelong bond of love that bears fruit by bringing forth into the world and fostering the personal growth of the next generation, thus insuring the continuation and development of human history. No form of artificially constructed material, technological power can ever begin to replace the original "organic" reality of the human family as the foundation of interpersonal communion, the authentic love that brings genuine flourishing to human persons and human society.

Well..that statement is true and important, but too general for this post. These days I'm meditating very much on a particular marriage that has brought two very particular people together, and kept them together for a quarter of a century. Perhaps I could share a few of those reflections.

There are a lot of small practical moments in a life together, and some big moments (wonderful moments and difficult moments). And while marriage will always be about a man and a woman loving each other and being faithful to each other (the mutual "I-Thou" dimension), it is also about their unique solidarity, their being-together as a unity-of-two who engage the world together (the "We" dimension). The fruitful openness of mutual love unfolds along this common path. Recall that the wedding vows make much reference to the various conditions of our mutual life: "for better and for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health."

Eileen and I have learned the importance of these promises. Our marriage has involved a lot of facing circumstances together, including problems that life has given us that were not the fault of either of us: my illnesses and early 'retirement,' the financial crash of 2008 and the burdens it placed on us, the needs of our aging parents, the dementia and loss of my Dad, the now-failing health of my Mom... and many ongoing challenges. It’s always messy, and we learn and grow by going through things, by struggling and enduring, by not giving up, and by forgiving each other every day. 

Eileen and I have been greatly blessed. We still love each other and trust each other, and we have had lots of support from others in difficult times. Certainly, people hope to find deep affection for each other in marriage, but (as is to some extent the case with all human relationships) the unique spousal-interpersonal affection in married life is more complicated (and sometimes more arduous) than initial experiences might suggest. 

Affection goes through many phases over time, and it's all too easy for married couples to give up and grow distant when the early and initial stages of affection and intimacy (with their particular type of intensity) seem to fade. It's true that "people change" over the years and decades, but this underscores the importance of humility, fidelity, and the realization that spouses are not meant to be the ultimate fulfillment of each other. Marriage is a sign - a great sign - of the ultimate destiny for which the spouses have been made, toward which they journey together, and which their being-together helps them to remember. This doesn't diminish spousal love and affection, but actually renews and deepens them. Even as many forms of feelings ebb and flow, affection can grow and be rediscovered, and even open up in new and more beautiful ways. This has certainly been our experience. 

When feelings of estrangement begin to creep in, don't give up! Be patient, forgive one another, and "begin again" each day. A marriage can do more than just survive; of itself it has great resilience and remarkable resevoirs of vitality. Don't give up. 

One thing Eileen and I have been grateful for is that we have always been genuinely good friends. We love to do things together, but we have our own interests too. It’s not an identical “match,” which is just fine. We can appreciate one another’s interests and learn from one another, but also share the things we love together. Real intimacy includes “space” because it’s not absorption. It's a union of two persons. At the same time, the "space" I'm talking about here is not meant to imply a merely “partial union,” but rather a union of persons precisely with their distinct personalities: a union of persons who grow together and challenge one another (or, often, frustrate one another — but here again there is forgiveness). 

And of course, there are the kids. What a mystery it is to be parents. It “fills” our relationship (because, after all, God created them and gave each of them their unique personal identity through us!) - but here too, parenthood doesn’t “negate” our own personalities. It enriches us and our spousal relationship further. Once again, we find that family is a unity of persons; with all the particular responsibilities it places on parents at the beginning, it nevertheless must always include freedom. We have loved our kids like crazy, like I can’t describe, but we know that they were entrusted to us (as parents) for a truly personal education, an education of their freedom, of their hearts, of their own personal capacity to love and to be loved and to find fulfillment in the Mystery to whom we all belong. 

I’m grateful that Eileen and I have worked together with the kids, and faced their problems together. Of course, we're not finished with the initial (and most directly educative) stage of parenthood. We still have two teenagers in the house, and I think they are both more challenging (in different ways) than the other three who are grown up. (Or maybe we're just older and less energetic than we used to be.) But we have more experience, and have become wiser and more realistic about our efforts and limitations. We still make many mistakes, and still need their forgiveness. 

The wonder is that I am a unique person, but at the same time relationships with other persons are intrinsic to “who I am.” I become more truly myself by engaging these persons who have been entrusted to me with love, which means giving of self (and receptivity to the gift of the other). Love is a sacrifice, but we don’t give ourselves away into a void. Love is not nihilism. It is self-giving and even “losing one’s self” but with a promise of finding one’s self, of renewal, of freedom in love.

After 25 years with my beloved wife, I see the truth of this in so many ways. Even our mistakes and failures toward each other are turned toward something greater (again, with forgiveness). Forgiveness is at the heart of the mystery of marriage, and this has to do with the fact that it is a special living sign of God's compassionate love for the human beings He has created. For Christians, it is a Sacrament wherein Jesus Christ's forgiving, crucified love for His bride, the Church, takes concrete shape and efficacy through the relationship of spouses, and becomes radically present and directive of marital fruitfulness in families, which are the continuation of history, and the "school" for the ongoing experience and expansion of His love from generation to generation. 

We are confident that God continues to carry out His mysterious plan for us to grow in love. God is always good. Sometimes it can take awhile to “see” this goodness (or even a glimpse of it) in our lives. But we know He has accomplished all things in Jesus Christ. He will never fail us. There have been times, and there will be times, when He seems distant or we are stretched beyond anything we ever imagined. But His strength prevails in our weakness. We have to trust Him. We have to hold onto Him, together.

We still have a lot to learn. 25 years is hardly a lifetime. In any case, in marriage there are always surprises. Within a week or two (or even sooner) we will see the face of our granddaughter for the first time. GRANDPARENTS!!? A brand new adventure begins! We can’t imagine it. We’re so excited!!

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

An Amazing 25 Years (!)

Twenty five years married to this wonderful lady, Eileen Janaro. So grateful! ❤

#SilverWeddingAnniversary



Sunday, June 20, 2021

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Father's Day, 2021. [The picture is of "Papa" reading to two of his granddaughters in 2012.] 

Today is the third Father's Day since my father died in 2019. I felt like "writing to him" nevertheless, not to be weird or anything, but trusting that in the great unity of Christ's body, the Church, some kind of "communication" remains possible and real - perhaps more real, more intimate, than we know:

Dear Dad/"Papa" - we miss you so much, but we know you are still close to us and continue to care for us. We continue to pray for you and carry you in our hearts with firm hope in Jesus Christ's victory, and His promise of eternal life to those who trust in Him and follow Him.

Please help Mom as her condition continues to weaken. Be with us as we try to accompany her in the time to come.

Dad, I feel so helpless, sometimes. I feel so confused. "Growing old" once seemed like a gentle thing, but it has its own mysterious inner pain and strangeness. Elders endure in silence so much traumatic change in their own capabilities and sometimes in their living environment. And their (50+ year-old) "children" are thrown into confusion, too. 

We "kids" don't know how to respond well to the sudden "neediness" you display. You were always there, always sources of love, attentiveness, and giving that we took for granted (like the sky and the earth). We did not know how much we had failed (in many ways) to love you and be grateful for you in all the days of our lives. In the end, in front of your most dramatic expression of your own "need" - your own fragile humanity - we prove to be weak companions. We try to "solve your problems," but we are afraid to suffer-with-you in the silence of that which is beyond all solutions of this world.

We don't even know "how" to suffer with you. We don't know "from within" these last steps of the human experience (probably because we are not yet "ready" for them), but still we want to stay with you even if it's awkward, inadequate, apparently "useless." Perhaps it is by embracing our own sense of inadequacy - by suffering it - that we draw closer to you. In this kind of suffering, prayer becomes very real - prayer becomes like breathing.

Now, I don't know "how" to help my mother, how to love her, how to accept that there is so little that I can do for her. I'll do what I can ... and offer everything to God (though I'm a mess). I go to Jesus and beg Him to lift us all up in His mercy (and to keep me from falling apart).

Dad, I love you. Our Mom was the light of your life. Help us to care for her now.

May the Lord bring us all together forever, at the end of all our journeys and labors and suffering, when every tear will be wiped away and there will be no more separations, no more agony and incomprehension, no more grief, no more sorrow, no more death.

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Life and Death and Everything in Between

My 82-year-old mother's physical health has begun to decline more precipitously in the last several weeks. Though there doesn't seem to be any unusually imminent cause for concern that she is dying, she has been considerably weakened since being hospitalized for an infection last month.

After she broke her ankle in October 2019, she moved out of the condo in Arlington, Virginia to an Assisted Living Facility in the same area. It was supposed to be "temporary," until we were able to arrange for her to live with us in Front Royal (some 70 miles West). But Mom - who has long suffered from various chronic illnesses - was unable to recover her mobility after the injury. Then the COVID-19 crisis derailed everyone's plans. Meanwhile, Mom fared pretty well in her private residence at the facility (assisted by its ample staff) and decided she wanted to stay there permanently.

We are used to our mother finding creative ways to adapt her lifestyle in the face of decades of various illnesses. But now - although her mind remains alert when she is awake - her physical condition is much worse than it has ever been. Her cardiovascular system is weakening. She is an octogenarian, of course, who has never had a strong (physical) heart (whereas - as anyone who knows her will agree - her personal heart , the source of her human vitality, her freedom, and her capacity to love, has always been as strong as a lion). A heart condition may have something to do with why she fell, lost consiousness, and broke her ankle, and why she lacked strength for rehab. 

Right now Mom is very weak and exhausted physically, and the trajectory of her condition - especially since her recent hospital visit - suggests that she doesn't have a long time left with us. We are satisfied with her medical team, and have a good rapport with them. Right now she still eats well, and takes an especially lively interest in her grandchildren. But she sleeps most of the day, and can only handle short visits from us (and brief phone calls). Her most frequent words to us are, "I love you." I think that her great soul is finding peace, after a long life and many struggles - fighting the good fight, and so often rising to the occasion despite her own pain and the hindrances of her many illnesses. She still needs lots of prayers, of course, and all the love we can give her.

Personally, I find myself in a bewildering place in these days, with emotions of sorrow and anxiousness but also joy and expectation. I'm "stretched" across several generations of my own family. My mother is suffering, and this concern dominates my emotional space, but also mixes in with other happenings. On Tuesday, Eileen and I will celebrate our Silver Wedding Anniversary. Our daughter Lucia recently got engaged, and preparations for a wedding next June are already in the works. Then, of course, the granddaughter is all set to make her "grand" debut, out of the womb and into the light of day. John Paul's wife Emily is due around July 10. I will be "Papa" (grandfather) to this new baby who might live to see the 22nd century. 

I'll write more about these events as they occur. They are all important. They are changes for all of us (along with the "changes" I am discovering in myself as I proceed to transition into the stage of life that I call "Young Seniors"). I find myself in front of "life and death and everything in between," which is an awkward way of expressing this emotionally dizzy condition. I am grateful, overall, because there is so much reason for gratitude.

Meanwhile, I am trying to prepare myself to accept my mother's death when it comes (which could be in a week or a couple of months or a year or more), and also to prepare for whatever she may need between now and then. We don't know how her remaining time will unfold, and what kind of care she may need. (I pray that she will be will be with us long enough to kiss her great-granddaughter, and even spend some time with her.)

I said that I'm trying to "prepare myself" for all this, but I don't know how. This is a time when the Mystery who holds our lives is palpably evident precisely in what is most profoundly transcendent, what is most beyond our comprehension. We understand particular things and do particular actions, but it is clear that these efforts (though necessary) are inadequate. Ultimately a mysterious personal event is going to take place for my mother that will "complete" her life in all its facets, drawing her to fulfillment, but also involve that strange and painful "rupture" from this life, from being "with us" in this world. Through faith, hope, and love we know that we don't "lose" her ultimately - but to "find her again" we will have to endure the suffering of human separation and its process of grief.

This is something I cannot possibly control. For the moment, I do what I can, and then I pray. Where else can I go? Without God, the extremity of the end of life would appear absurd. Nihilism would be inevitable. Even with faith (and erudite theological explanations), it can be very hard to avoid feeling deflated and discouraged when the life of someone you love is being stripped away.

Suffering and death drive down to our very bones the tragic aspect of life, even for us who firmly believe that this tragedy is not the end of the story

We believe that Something Has Happened in human history, not to take away physical death nor remove suffering but to transform them from within, to fashion out of them the ultimate ways of love, the path through which what is mortal is clothed in immortality.

God did not make death. He planned to draw us to Himself in a more simple and tender fashion, still mysterious of course, but in a way that we could have followed like children who grow through education (in the most profound sense of the word). 

But the human race rejected God's way. We turned away from the Mystery, and chose instead to exalt ourselves by our own power, by grasping at the illusion that we could define ourselves and control our relationships with one another and the world. We, who were made for the Infinite, chose to put our trust in our own finite, limited power. It was the original sin by which the human race "nullified" God's "original gift," and shrunk away from the true human destiny, impoverishing humanity for all who came after, rendering human existence an apparently insoluble riddle.

God did not make death. We humans - His children - chose death at the beginning of human history. We chose the limits, the frustration, the pain, the solitude of death - and this tragedy became our heritage from generation to generation. We have no way of "fixing" ourselves.

But God continued to love immensely the human family He created. He only permitted us to stray because He had a more wonderful way of restoring and renewing us. God did this not by "taking away" the experience of death. Rather, God took human flesh, He entered our broken history, He became our brother and He Himself suffered death.

He passed through death and beyond death. He rose to eternal life, and we are called to join him "if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him" (Romans 8:17).

It's not easy to remember all of this in the midst of the seemingly overwhelming and "totalizing" experience of dying, or of losing a loved one. But it remains true. It may not always comfort us (though sometimes it will). Nevertheless we have to hang on to this mystery of salvation, these transforming events and the One who has accomplished them. Prayer is the way to "hang on" - even allowing our indigence, our agony, to become prayer. God is our Father. He loves us. He hears us, He is working, He is bringing forth a greater love from our powerlessness, our nothingness. 

We will still have much grief and many sorrows. It's part of being human in this present world. But the Lord didn't say to us, "Do not suffer." He said, "Do not be afraid" (see e.g. Luke 12:7, Rev 1:17, et alia).

In the hard moments, the sorrowful moments, the incomprehensible moments, the desperate moments, the final moments, God is with us.

He is with us in the anguish, the awful solitude, the flesh and blood of all of it.

He is Jesus, the Father's Eternal Word and the son of Mary, our God and our brother. He was born in Bethlehem, walked all the roads of our human life, worked a trade, spoke God's word with a human voice, felt hunger and thirst, healed the blind, the lame, and the sick. He revealed God's love and was put to death by us because we preferred our own narrow insipid loves, our covetousness, our grasp for our own power to control life and shrink it to our own measure. But His love was greater. He bore all our sins, our sorrows, our sufferings. He died, but in dying He destroyed the power of death, and rose in a transformed, indestructible, but also fully human life. He lives, and draws us to Himself, to eternal life, to a New Creation where God will be all, in all.

All of this is real. It remains real even when we don't feel it, even when it seems strange and incomprehensible. We must hold on to Jesus, and let Him hold us. Jesus will carry us through.

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

A Sweet Start to the Day!😉

As Jim Gaffigan says, "No one wants to admit that they had CAKE for breakfast. That's why muffins were invented!"😋



Sunday, June 13, 2021

It's Good to See the Steeple of Our Church...

Happy Sunday! Summer is in the air. ⛅️🌳

The future is in God's hands. At the present moment, I am grateful to see the steeple of our church regularly again. 

Circumstances still vary significantly in different places in the world regarding the status of COVID-19 and the continuation of public health restrictions, but in our mid-Atlantic region in the USA most of them have been lifted. We have been able to go with our whole physical persons to Sunday Mass, to worship together, to sing the responses in the liturgy, and to receive Jesus in the Eucharist in the "fullness" of the sacrament of His love. 

He has sustained us through our trials, remains with us, and gives us hope that the future - whatever it may bring - is the road that takes us to our Father's house.

Saturday, June 12, 2021

A Pearl of Splendor

Just as the Mother of God is the unique human companion of her Son Jesus in His earthly mission and in her share in His glory, so also His particular feasts in the liturgical calendar are usually followed by days dedicated to Mary and her singular participation in His saving love. For the Saturday, June 12 celebration of the "Immaculate Heart of Mary," the Pope had another brief, beautiful reflection posted on Twitter and Instagram in various languages.

Here is what we read in English: “Mary’s heart is like a pearl of incomparable splendor, formed and smoothed by patient acceptance of God’s will through the mysteries of Jesus meditated in prayer” (Pope Francis).

Friday, June 11, 2021

The Boundless Love of the Heart of Jesus

The Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus allows us to dwell with particular focus on the ineffable love of the Second Person of the Trinity, God the Son, that He offers to the Father and to us through His humanity. The Son loves us with His human Heart so as to accomplish our redemption and to "incorporate" us into His love for the Father.

The love of the Heart of Jesus saves us and empowers us as "adopted" sons and daughters in God's kingdom. 
.
The foundation of Christian life is God Incarnate, who touches our humanity concretely with His love. The Gospel text for the day (John 19:31-37) presents the love of Christ's Heart as the radical source of the sacraments of Baptism and the Eucharist. Indeed, through the Eucharist, He Himself reaches us here and now as the One who loves us and gives Himself wholly to us.


The boundless love of the Heart of Jesus "surpasses knowledge," and 'pours out' all through history to accomplish the Divine plan. He draws us, frees us from our sins, renews us, incorporates us into His Mystical Body, and engenders a new kind of love in us for God our Father and for one another as brothers and sisters.


Here are some texts from the liturgy that struck me especially:


In the SECOND READING, Saint Paul speaks to the Ephesians: “I kneel before the Father, whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:14-19).


The PREFACE to the Eucharistic Prayer bears the title: THE BOUNDLESS CHARITY OF CHRIST. "It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation, always and everywhere to give you thanks, Lord, holy Father, almighty and eternal God, through Christ our Lord. For raised up high on the Cross, he gave himself up for us with a wonderful love and poured out blood and water from his pierced side, the wellspring of the Church's Sacraments, so that, won over to the open heart of the Savior, all might draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation."


Both options for the COMMUNION ANTIPHON allude to Christ's life-changing, transforming love as incarnate and sacramental:


"Thus says the Lord: Let whoever is thirsty come to me and drink. Streams of living water will flow from within the one who believes in me" (Cf. John 7:37-38). 


Or: "One of the soldiers opened his side with a lance, and at once there came forth blood and water" (John 19:34).


The PRAYER AFTER COMMUNION expresses our desire that Jesus's love might change the way we see all of reality, the way we love the persons through whom He calls us to grow and move forward in this life's journey toward fulfillment in Him: 


"May this sacrament of charity, O Lord, 

make us fervent with the fire of holy love, 

so that, drawn always to your Son, 

we may learn to see him in our neighbor. 

Through Christ our Lord."


The COLLECT for the day invokes the "overflowing measure of grace" that comes from this open, total gift of this human heart - the Heart of Jesus - and "the wonders of his love for us."



On social media, Pope Francis encourages us to have confidence in Him: I invite each one of you to look with confidence to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and to repeat often, especially during this month of June: Jesus, meek and humble of heart, transform our hearts and teach us to love God and our neighbor with generosity” (Pope Francis).