Saturday, April 6, 2013

I Throw Myself Upon the Mercy of God

Mercy Sunday is at hand. We have prayed the Novena during Easter week, as always. And I find myself among the lukewarm, once again...yet I still am offered the hope of running to Him, to Jesus whose compassion knows no bounds, Jesus who can change my heart. Jesus, help me!

I am a word maker. So I bring my words to Him, hoping He can use even words. It seems that He does use these poor words, in His way, mysteriously, according to a wisdom that will remain forever beyond me. So I place my confidence and my smallness and my weakness in Him. Jesus.

What can I do other than throw myself upon the mercy of God? I have the gift of expressing myself. I know that words are straw, but there is a place for straw in life and the task of making straw has been given to me. I will make straw.

I am a human being and I have met Jesus Christ. I express that humanity in words, inadequate words, sentimental words tinged with my own vanity; words that make it sound too easy, and that give me the false appearance of being "wise" as I toy with mysteries. All these words. All this straw.

My dear friends who are reading these words: I want you to know that in this feeble effort to give of myself, and with hope in Jesus, I make this straw for you. Use it for your bed. Throw it in your fire and be warmed. Let it dry up the damp ground under your feet. Find something in it.

From my own struggle, what I want you to see is that Mercy is at work. In all my efforts and words the great hope is that you might see His mercy. Because of Him, I am bold enough to hope that you might find it, even in me, in the midst of my many words.

Look for Him. Discover the beauty of His face. I know it's not as easy as it sounds. I know that. But still, He is here, and He is real.

Mercy is at work in the world, in me, and in you.

3 comments:

Mrs. H. said...

John: I read your words every morning and I miss you when you don't write. You help many people....you won't know how many until we all line up to hug you in Heaven! Have a blessed Mercy Sunday!

John Janaro said...

Blessed Mercy Sunday to you too. I pray for my readers. May God give us all His mercy! I'm sorry I don't post every day; writing is actually a big effort, and takes a lot of energy (see my book for more about why that's a problem). I do aim for about 20 posts a month. People can look at two years of archives. I haven't labeled much of it, but there's lots in the archives. God bless you! :)

Anonymous said...

John, you've just described what it means to carry one's cross, something that I've just re-discovered, the Cross in forms unexpected, in the form of weak me.

About those Divine Mercy prayers - I was thinking that I, that all of us, are in each of those petitions; I thought to myself, well, I do believe in God, but do I always? when my loves turn toward idolatry it is, for me, a betrayal of even this belief.

Lukewarm is what keeps me in hell way too much in my life.

I meant to say that the way you describe your cross in life, what you have to give, to offer is like the parable of the wheat and the tares -- both of these having to co-exist in our hearts, making me humble, just if once in awhile, when I realize it.

Divine Mercy is the Image of Hope! Thank you for your confessio - it's saving some part of a day I had rued.