Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Don't Let Go, Lord. Don't Let Me Be Alone.

God gives us everything. Right now, we exist because He is giving us the reality of ourselves.

His love gives me each breath that I take. Even if all I have is that breath, it is a wondrous thing. I want to be grateful for every breath, even the laborious ones, even the breaths that I feel like I'd rather not take.

Lord, even when I don't feel grateful, 
even when I feel angry or frustrated 
or humiliated or empty, 
or when I think I don't want to live anymore, 
give me gratitude for the wonder of you, 
in whose image I am made,
you who alone know the secret of who I am.

Enable me, whatever the awful darkness, 
to be grateful, 
to hold on to your mercy and goodness and love, 
or when I can't find you, 
to allow you to hold onto me 
and carry me in this black night. 
I'm blind and torn and fighting 
and I feel like running away because it's all so strange.

Don't let go, Lord. Don't let me be alone.

You love me even when I don't remember you, 
can't see you, can't feel you, 
can't imagine how hope could be possible in life, 
how there could be anything other than the pain 
and more pain and more pain...

Even when I am far from you and losing myself, 
you are near. 
With my every breath, 
with every stirring of my frame 
and movement of my soul, 
you are near.

God, find me! 
God, find me!